I just don't understand! Since I clipped this
I have been feeling like this 
trying to find sanity and peace once again!
You'll never know how difficult it was for me to clip your binky and admit that you're not my baby boy anymore. I kept procrastinating because of the sweet way you asked for it and how you cuddled me more when you had it. What's a mama to do? I just wanted to keep you small forever. What's wrong with that?
But I knew you needed to let it go.
It's been two weeks, and you're still not back to your old self, and I miss you, Jon.
You wake up crying in the middle of the night,
crying for "Mama."
I finally go pick you up, rock you, and put you back down in your crib or else bring you to bed with daddy and me when I'm just too tired to handle the tears, mine and yours. I hold you and you fall asleep on my chest, just like you did as a newborn. It's tender.
Jon, you used to be my champion naper and would nap everyday from 12-3. Lucky mama? Yes, I was I admit. But now, I put you in your room for quiet time and after an hour, I find this.
You just look up at me and say, "Uh, oh, Jonny made a mess!"
Because you haven't been napping, you've been more onery the rest of the day. Remember last week's drama at the grocery store?
Oh. My. Goodness.
I didn't chose the grocery cart that you wanted, so you threw the tantrum of the century for over a 1/2 hour, but I refused to pick you up. I just let you cry and follow me around, telling you every 5 minutes, "I'll be happy to pick you up when you can calm down and be happy." Oh wow, if I had a nickle for every judgemental look I got!!! How dare I not pick up my child when he's upset? At least I got a thumbs up from the guy behind the meat counter. He said, "Way to go. Trainin' him right." I just laughed at his comment. Really, I wanted to cry. Of course I wanted to pick you up. But then I'd teaching you that if you want something, throw a fit, and mama will give in. Well, not this mama, buddy!
You finally calmed down, WITHOUT a bribe. Miracle, I know.
Jon, you make me laugh
And you make me cry...and Emily, too. Check out those bites. Half a dozen a week, and I can't get you to stop. I've tried washing your mouth out with soap, but you just keep biting your sister. It's like the little dog-big dog mentality. I guess it's your way of defending yourself. But I'm tired of it. The hair pulling and pinching needs to stop, too. I'm just beside myself!
You really are a good boy, definitely ALL boy in fact, unless
your sensitive side comes out. ;)
Jonny boy, I need your help. I need more sleep to happen and less crying, more big-boy talking and less whining, more loving and less fighting.
And I promise I'll try to be more patient and stop locking myself in the bathroom for "mommy time-out."
I love you dear Jon.
Love,
Mama
After lunch, the kids played some pool and then we had some ice-cream cones at Clover Creek General Store. Yum!
When we returned home, Wade took the kids on a date to Chuck E Cheese, so I could have quiet time to work on an editing project for a friend. I know, it's not like I need one more thing in my life. But the money is good and for only 10 hours a week, I felt like I could do it for a few months. It's really such a blessing because the previous Fast Sunday, Wade and I had fasted for extra opportunities to earn income, so that we could slash the rest of our school debt. So Wade and I are both trying to do a little extra so that we can call Dave Ramsey's radio show soon with a "We're Debt Free!" shout out. Oh, and way to go Wade for spending 2 whole hours at Chuck E Cheese and not spending one single dime! The kids just used the tokens we had left over from a friend's brithday party. 
Last Saturday, I ran my 3rd 5K, which was the 
My old running partner and dear friend, Kathy Allen, came to town from St. Louis, and we met up for a few hours and had a really nice visit together. Her 9 year-old, Sydney, had a sleep over the night before with Ali and Kate, so they joined us at the park, as well. After an hour, it started to sprinkle, so we headed to my house to get out of the rain. She admired my new preschool, while I admired her beautiful baby girl, Rachel. :) It has been a year since Kathy moved away, and it was so good to be with her again. She's such a good example to me, and I cherish our friendship.
One night, Wade found Emily like this. She had actually made herself a bed under the dresser!
We caught a spider, worm, and snail and put them in different jars. The snail was climbing out, so I thought it would be interesting to feed him. We gave him a piece of a cracker, and he devoured it within a minute. The kids thought it was so cool!
Zach, Emily, and Cannon building a tower with the Mega Bloks 
For Mother's Day, Wade surprised me with tickets to the Real Salt Lake soccer game and the David Archuleta concert afterwards. Wahoo! Truly the best part was having a whole month to look forward to it. Every time I was having a rough day, I would think, "Oh yeah, but my hot date with Wade is coming up." :) My sweet sister, Ruthanne and her hubby, Austin, even took the kids overnight since we would be getting back late. So we were actually able to sleep in the next morning till 8am! That's a big deal for us, considering our kids are the early to bed, early to rise type (ie: 6:30am)! 
It really was an entertaining game. I think the last soccer game I had been to was my senior year watching some of my friends play on the Snow Canyon High School soccer team. Yeah, THAT was a few years ago! Wade loves soccer and even played in high school, so he was enjoying it, fo sho! 
That same morning, he found out he did NOT get chosen for a career as a Seminary Teacher. They only chose 10 out of 50 to student teach for a year, and from that 10, they'll choose about 4 to teach full time (usually more, but not with the economy how it is). Wade was a little relieved to at least know NOW, rather than a year from now, but I was crushed because I knew how much he wanted it, and what a good seminary teacher he would have been.
